Self Control

When a friend asked me to teach on this topic I answered “is that you lord? Seriously you’ll God has a sense of humor.

God truly equips us and uses us even when we feel unworthy of the task. He has given us purpose on what he sees in us not what we see

The topic is self control / temperance. Truly believe I’m the last person that person should be talking about this but God sees different.

I’ve had my share of non self control moments. I’ve grown a lot in this aspect. Work in progress. I always say the lord has done a lot in me but he sure isn’t done.

Self control’s definition ability to control oneself and temperance is voluntary self resistance; particularly in an emotional state or in the expression in one’s behavior

For those who truly know me, I’m super outspoken. I keep everything real. Always saying what needs to be said versus what one wants to hear. I stand up when I feel wrong is being done. There’s several occasion where I do feel I could of surely handled that different. There’s been time where people who care for my growth and spiritual well being have sat me down and advised on how I should of handled certain situation or behavior. Please understand that I’m far from perfecting this however God has truly worked in me. I’m not where I was.

There’s moments in life where I talk to God and I ask Him how do you want me to control my reaction or control this tongue if you made me strong will you made me outspoken. You made me this way. And while yes God has made us completely. He reminds me of what He has for me and where he wants me and how he wants to continue to mold me.

God wants us to seek Him, to develop a deeper relationship with him so that we can be closer to him and be more like him. It’s about the heart, the heart reflects outward into our actions and our tongue. What’s inside reflects out.

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV (But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law)

Galatians 5:25 NIV( Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit)

If we let our desires or our emotions lead, our lives can spin out of control Self control is a discipline that God grows in us when we continually chose to die to our flesh and live in Him.

Romans 7:18 NIV(For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out)

We are not perfect.

Oh I shouldn’t have said that? Why did I do that? I wish I could take that back. How many times have we had thoughts like this?

We are humans and this flesh has sin nature that can lead to issues with self control. We have to work towards a better us, so thankful for God’s grace in.

Our bible talks ability a woman who is a great example for us working towards self control. I remember studying her a while back in a devotional I did.

Abigail. She was married off to a man named Nabal and he was evil and harsh. His name literally means foolish. He was super wealthy. It must have been so difficult for her to be married to him. She’s described as a beautiful and intelligent and not just on the outside but inside too. She’s known as a gentle meek but strong woman. (2 Samuel 25:3) You see her control her actions and words while remaining confident and wise, she is able to make quick wise choices while controlling her words with grace. (2 Samuel 25:18-19) this chapter we see her control her tongue at least three times. First when she hears that David is on his way to kill. She responded with immediate actions not complaining. Second when she meets David she control what she says. She uses her words to heal the wounds that her husband created. Third when she returns and sees that her husband is drunk and feasting. She made the choice to wait to morning to tell her husband.

What an example Abigail set for us, use our words to heal and not to be a weapon. She controlled her words and use them wisely. We can only achieve that when we develop a relationship with God and allow him to work in us.

When I’m angry or upset ability something that doesn’t sit well or when I’m in a disagreement I can be quick to respond harshly. I didn’t have self control. I used hurtful words or words that caused pain. As I grow in God and get older I understand the true power of our words. They speak life or death in our lives and in others.

Proverbs 15:2 NKJV (The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness)

Proverbs 14:17 NIV (A quick-tempered person does foolish things,and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.)

The Bible reminds us of the danger of the tongue and warns us that it leads to no good. I’ve learned this and become aware that in order to change, in order to achieve self control I have to focus on my heart and what I’m feeling my soul, my mind. By seeking His word.

I’m not a master of this, I get tested like I’m sure all of us are about on thing or another. But with God we all can be better each day. It hard can’t lie. It’s a lot of work and discipline. Doesn’t come naturally to this flesh. However Abigail did it Im encouraged that I can and we can too.

We all struggle with self control in some way. I struggle everyday, this flesh doesn’t make it easy. I have slip ups. So no matter what is is for you you can grow and you too can have self control. I want to share some tips that have helped me that I found and want to pass to you. I pray they help you.

Pray before you speak or act (Psalm 32:8) Study God’s word daily (John 14:20) When in doubt, stay silent (Matthew 7:12) Repent & Ask forgiveness (Acts 3:19) Give yourself grace (Ephesians 4:7)

Reading His word will never fail you and will never leave you the same. It changes you! It has changed me!